Skip to main content

What is a Woman on Fire? And Does Everyone in Your Life Need to Be "On Board"?


The Woman on Fire Tribe Experience

When we started this wild ride called Hot Pink YOUniversity, I think our intentions were the following:  to travel with women, create a retreat atmosphere from their daily lives to reset, transform and self-care, to send the message to women in a movement that pleasure is mandatory in their lives.

We knew as women that this movement was important.  Pleasure was important.

What has evolved since that original concept is not nearly the same as the original vision...its better!

That is a Woman on Fire, or WOF as we love to refer to her in our tribe.  A WOF has a vision for her life, bigger than the one she is living right now.  And, she may or may not have those she loves in her life on board with that vision.  Whether others are on board is not nearly as important as whether that woman is on board with her vision and the possibilities it holds.  Having your partner, kids, friends, colleagues on board makes the path easier...you have cheerleaders, supporters and less barriers to make that vision happen.  When those you love are not on board, it brings out a certain bit of grit in women. 

Why wouldn't others be "on board" with our vision?  It might make them uncomfortable, or have to shift and make changes in themselves, or cause them to work harder in their own lives...

Take Sarah for example...she knew that her vision of her life held a hope of great love.  And, her current partner was not going to make the changes that needed to be made to be that great love that she desired and deserved.  The shifts that she needed to make had an impact on her adult kids.  Sarah would need to leave that relationship and it would be painful for all those involved.  There were no cheerleaders for Sarah in her family, but her friends on the other hand, saw how miserable she was and knew the changes she needed to make.

Or Kim, who was working in a less than fulfilling job.  She knew she needed to leave and seek her own path.  Though her family was on board, her partner had reservations.  The risk of losing income for a period of time, the lack of security in the steadiness of the paycheck, resulted in a lack of supportive conversations to explore this possibility.

Change does not mean getting everyone in your life "on board" before you can make the change.  It only means getting yourself ready, having the conversations that you need to have with others, knowing they will have a very different perspective.  They may even have valid points that you need to consider.  But ultimately the change you seek, the vision you seek is yours and yours alone.

Getting the support you need is so vital for change.  What does Woman on Fire support do?


  • You get to explore the questions that you have about your transformation from an objective standpoint.  Your change mentors do not have any secondary gains or losses from your change, so they remain unattached to the outcome and just there to support YOU!
  • You have a collective of tribe, Hot Pink tribe, that has a variety of experiences that they can then share with you.  Women learn through our stories, and it is the richness and diversity of these stories that can help shift your own perspective around the vision you seek.
  • You are opened to possibilities.  It is like a wand of permission that, YES, you deserve and can have the change you seek to live the best life possible.  
We see so many women dream and vision, only to be shut down by those that love them most.  It comes from a place of desiring to please others, we are wired to care take and make sure no one gets hurt, even if that means hurting ourselves.  Women hate to be judged, it is the number one cited issue with the women who do work with us.  It takes work and a shift in our habitual thinking to reduce the trigger of being judged.  When we live in fear of judgment we stay small and we do not move forward on our vision for our lives.  

Your loved ones will only benefit from your movement forward.  Even if they are the first to potentially shut you down or slow you down, they will be the greatest benefactors in the end.  When you are living authentically and playing in the realm of your dreams you are a better partner, loved one, friend and colleague...guaranteed.  Happy people ripple happiness out to others.  It becomes contagious, an infectious movement for others to do the same.

Think about the transformation you seek or the bigger vision for your life.

What impact will it have on you?

How will others than benefit from that?

Christie Gause-Bemis, MSW, LCSW, Hot Pink YOUniversity www.hotpinkyou.com  Helping women to reignite their passions, their purpose and their play!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

From Make Up to Mud in 3 Minutes

One Woman’s Journey to Her Own PleasureIt’s mid-morning on a Friday and I am settling in and firing up my laptop to connect with Tami, one of our current Woman On Fire tribe for our Month 2 Coaching Call.I am energized and totally getting off on working from my favorite spot in front of our lake view windows in my comfy old, fit me just right yoga pants and messy ponytail-hand thrown dragon fly mug filled to the brim with the last of my Costa Rican java.Yea…I am tuned in and turned on for sure!


Our topic this month is “Creating Your Hot and Juicy!” We will dive in to what brings her pleasure and how she defines and embraces her Body Beautiful.Month 2 in our Woman On Fire program is when we really kick things up and see women consider the concept of Pleasure. This is often when women will recognize just how little pleasure they have, what obstacles get in their way of pleasure and just how much they WANT MORE of it! The familiar video call chimes and we are off!We begin with warm hel…

It’s All About the Moments

Could Instead of Should It’s 5 am.  I am sleeping all warm and snug in my bed when I feel a touch on my arm and my sweetheart says, “Baby you gotta come see the sunrise over the lake.”  

I have that moment of hazy hesitation having just been in a deep sleep, but my heart opens, I feel myself smile and I take the moment.  We walk silently together to our front deck and I suck in that deep breathe of awe at the amazing beauty of Mother Nature…there is something about the sun rising and setting over water that is magical!  The sky is an impressionist painting of wild pink, purple, peach, yellow and orange stretched as far as we can see.  We stand still for just a few quiet moments holding hands and taking it all in. “It is so beautiful!” I say.  “It is, he says as he takes leave to begin his day.  I stand there just a few moments longer, alone and acknowledging this moment.  My thoughts go deep…      I go to the importance of being present and of honoring a positive impulse.  I think of how…

The Difference Between Holding and Hosting a Feeling

How Can We Host a Feeling and Not Let It Ruin Our Day? It was early morning, the night after the fight, and still a restlessness was there.  It was hard to imagine all the details of the fight, how it started, who said what.  But, oh, that feeling was still there.  Fresh. Raw. Tugging at the bedsheets to start afresh and dive back into the conflict.  Anger. Hurt. Resentment.
Do you know that feeling?  
It is a feeling that can make or break communication in a relationship.  Wake up fighting. Hold on and fume all morning.
We can hold on to a feeling for a very long time.  The feminine brain is wired to have the memory storage capacity to do so...for days and for years.
Holding on to a feeling, clasping it in righteous indignation, going over the argument in your mind about all the ways that you are justified to have this feeling. Whether it is anger, hurt, sadness, fear...these can all be permanent or temporary states of being.
So what is hosting a feeling?
When I first learned this c…