From Make Up to Mud in 3 Minutes

 One Woman’s Journey to Her Own Pleasure

Tami Durbon and Patsy O'Kieffe

  It’s mid-morning on a Friday and I am settling in and firing up my laptop to connect with Tami, one of our current Woman On Fire tribe for our Month 2 Coaching Call.  I am energized and totally getting off on working from my favorite spot in front of our lake view windows in my comfy old, fit me just right yoga pants and messy ponytail-hand thrown dragon fly mug filled to the brim with the last of my Costa Rican java.  Yea…I am tuned in and turned on for sure!  

     Our topic this month is “Creating Your Hot and Juicy!” We will dive in to what brings her pleasure and how she defines and embraces her Body Beautiful.  Month 2 in our Woman On Fire program is when we really kick things up and see women consider the concept of Pleasure. This is often when women will recognize just how little pleasure they have, what obstacles get in their way of pleasure and just how much they WANT MORE of it!  

     The familiar video call chimes and we are off!  We begin with warm hello’s and a brief review of her Month 1 homework.  She has let go of oh-so-many limiting fears and she is definitely ready to create her Hot & Juicy!  I challenge her to identify a little, middle and big pleasure.  There is barely a pause and as she shares it is clear that much of her pleasure has revolved around what others in her life desire or from helping others through volunteer/charitable endeavors.  

I point this out to her and with a bit of humor say, “As Seinfeld says, ‘Not that there is anything wrong with that!’ and what about pleasures that have absolutely nothing to do with anyone else or a cause but are born from your own core desires?”  

Now there is a longer pause as she reflects on my observation and gentle care-frontation.  Isn’t this the way it so often happens for women?  Our main sources of pleasure are much more often about others than our own personal desires.  Not our own!

     Tami has a powerful moment of realization and I hold her to my question.  We use an activity from the Month 2 e-playbook and now she is beginning to heat up.  She declares that she WANTS MORE passion and desire in her life.  We talk about what this really means to her and how she can make it happen.  It turns out that like many women, Tami has a bit of a free spirit, wild-child side to her.  There were some times in her younger years where she explored that part of who she is and then, again, as it is with many women, she ran into the “3 D’s” and allowed people (especially men…can you relate?!) and things to Dim, Dumb and Doubt her down.  She did what she believed was the right stuff…the responsible, good girl, take care of everyone and everything stuff.  She moved further and further from what made her own heart sing and came to believe that pleasure comes from and is defined by external sources and by what makes others feel good.  

Tami Durbon filled with pleasure!

Our conversation moves (with a few encouraging nudges from me) to the things that actually get HER juices flowing and bring on her own kind of pleasure.  The kind of things that often brought negative messages and judgements from others. The kind of things that she eventually felt she shouldn’t desire and would even at times feel some shame around.  She begins to share things like trekking out on her own to places unknown, being in a crowd of people laughing loudly and dancing boldly to some kick a** music, riding or driving in fast cars, racing around in the mud on a bike or ATV, flirting a little, or a lot, with whoever she feels drawn to, wearing form fitting, sexy clothes, thigh high stiletto boots, black leather jackets and misbehaving in ways that I refer to as “the good kinda naughty”.  

"I Can Go From Make-up to Mud in About 3 Minutes!!"

     We move to discussing how many wonderful, juicy, luscious layers we each have to who we are and what gets us off.  At one point Tami laughs and says, “I can go from make-up to mud in about 3 minutes!!”  I am in love with this phrase and my inspiration for this blog is born.  I ask if I can reference it.  She says, “Sure!”  A few days later I reach out to her in Facebook messenger to ask if I can share some of our call, with or without her name if she wants to remain anonymous.  As I am typing that I get her reply: “You can definitely use my name! NO going anonymous anymore!” Oh yea, Baby!!   Now she is truly ignited and the fire is growing and she is on her way to a true Hot Pink Inferno!  

Her assignments in Month 2?!  To unapologetically declare and do little, middle and big pleasure-full things of her own, on her own terms, when and how she desires.  

     Pleasure Exploration Alert!!  

What parts of who you are and what you desire have you either shut yourself off from or never even allowed yourself to try?  What (or who) have you allowed to hold you back?  Imagine what would happen in your life if you really opened yourself to your own true desires, passions and pleasure?  How do you make it happen?  What do you WANT MORE of?  How do you make it happen, starting today?!   

     BTW…a week after our Month 2 coaching call, Tami jumped out of a plane for her birthday!!  Yea…she’s a Woman On Fire for sure!!  

With Big Hugs & Love,

Ann Murgatroyd-Soe

Ann is the co-author of Ignite Your Life:  Live Life with Passion, Pleasure and Play.  She is also co-founder and CEO of Hot Pink YOUniversity along with Christie Gause-Bemis.  To learn more about their programs and services, visit www.hotpinkyou.com    Follow on Facebook   Email at:  hotpinkyou@gmail.com