What is a Woman on Fire? And Does Everyone in Your Life Need to Be "On Board"?

The Woman on Fire Tribe Experience

When we started this wild ride called Hot Pink YOUniversity, I think our intentions were the following:  to travel with women, create a retreat atmosphere from their daily lives to reset, transform and self-care, to send the message to women in a movement that pleasure is mandatory in their lives.

We knew as women that this movement was important.  Pleasure was important.

What has evolved since that original concept is not nearly the same as the original vision...its better!

That is a Woman on Fire, or WOF as we love to refer to her in our tribe.  A WOF has a vision for her life, bigger than the one she is living right now.  And, she may or may not have those she loves in her life on board with that vision.  Whether others are on board is not nearly as important as whether that woman is on board with her vision and the possibilities it holds.  Having your partner, kids, friends, colleagues on board makes the path easier...you have cheerleaders, supporters and less barriers to make that vision happen.  When those you love are not on board, it brings out a certain bit of grit in women. 

Why wouldn't others be "on board" with our vision?  It might make them uncomfortable, or have to shift and make changes in themselves, or cause them to work harder in their own lives...

Take Sarah for example...she knew that her vision of her life held a hope of great love.  And, her current partner was not going to make the changes that needed to be made to be that great love that she desired and deserved.  The shifts that she needed to make had an impact on her adult kids.  Sarah would need to leave that relationship and it would be painful for all those involved.  There were no cheerleaders for Sarah in her family, but her friends on the other hand, saw how miserable she was and knew the changes she needed to make.

Or Kim, who was working in a less than fulfilling job.  She knew she needed to leave and seek her own path.  Though her family was on board, her partner had reservations.  The risk of losing income for a period of time, the lack of security in the steadiness of the paycheck, resulted in a lack of supportive conversations to explore this possibility.

Change does not mean getting everyone in your life "on board" before you can make the change.  It only means getting yourself ready, having the conversations that you need to have with others, knowing they will have a very different perspective.  They may even have valid points that you need to consider.  But ultimately the change you seek, the vision you seek is yours and yours alone.

Getting the support you need is so vital for change.  What does Woman on Fire support do?

• You get to explore the questions that you have about your transformation from an objective standpoint.  Your change mentors do not have any secondary gains or losses from your change, so they remain unattached to the outcome and just there to support YOU!
• You have a collective of tribe, Hot Pink tribe, that has a variety of experiences that they can then share with you.  Women learn through our stories, and it is the richness and diversity of these stories that can help shift your own perspective around the vision you seek.
• You are opened to possibilities.  It is like a wand of permission that, YES, you deserve and can have the change you seek to live the best life possible.  

We see so many women dream and vision, only to be shut down by those that love them most.  It comes from a place of desiring to please others, we are wired to care take and make sure no one gets hurt, even if that means hurting ourselves.  Women hate to be judged, it is the number one cited issue with the women who do work with us.  It takes work and a shift in our habitual thinking to reduce the trigger of being judged.  When we live in fear of judgment we stay small and we do not move forward on our vision for our lives.  

Your loved ones will only benefit from your movement forward.  Even if they are the first to potentially shut you down or slow you down, they will be the greatest benefactors in the end.  When you are living authentically and playing in the realm of your dreams you are a better partner, loved one, friend and colleague...guaranteed.  Happy people ripple happiness out to others.  It becomes contagious, an infectious movement for others to do the same.

Think about the transformation you seek or the bigger vision for your life.

What impact will it have on you?

How will others than benefit from that?

Christie Gause-Bemis, MSW, LCSW, Hot Pink YOUniversity www.hotpinkyou.com  Helping women to reignite their passions, their purpose and their play!