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Are You in Your Journey or on the Side Lines?

Women Who are in the Arena….I Applaud YOU! Brene Brown talks about the gift of vulnerability.  And on one of her talks she shares that there are those who are in the arena and those who are on the outside.  You know what I’m talking about? The arena where we try new things, take chances, take a risk. For many of us the chance is on loving again.  Or, the risk of starting our own business. Or, trying something new, like taking a class or hobby or sky diving...Yeah, that arena. The one that grows you and the one that leaves you vulnerable, on the stage, in front of the audience.  What Brene Brown talks about is that those that are in the audience or on the sidelines looking in have no right to judge, criticize, make fun of, or be less than supportive of those that are in the arena doing the hard stuff. If you are in the arena, be proud.  Hold your head high. Ignore the naysayers, their merely the audience of your life, but also of their own life as well.   Being in the are
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From Make Up to Mud in 3 Minutes

 One Woman’s Journey to Her Own Pleasure Tami Durbon and Patsy O'Kieffe     It’s mid-morning on a Friday and I am settling in and firing up my laptop to connect with Tami, one of our current Woman On Fire tribe for our Month 2 Coaching Call.   I am energized and totally getting off on working from my favorite spot in front of our lake view windows in my comfy old, fit me just right yoga pants and messy ponytail-hand thrown dragon fly mug filled to the brim with the last of my Costa Rican java.   Yea…I am tuned in and turned on for sure!        Our topic this month is “Creating Your Hot and Juicy!” We will dive in to what brings her pleasure and how she defines and embraces her Body Beautiful.   Month 2 in our Woman On Fire program is when we really kick things up and see women consider the concept of Pleasure. This is often when women will recognize just how little pleasure they have, what obstacles get in their way of pleasure and just how much they WANT MORE of it!

The Difference Between Holding and Hosting a Feeling

How Can We Host a Feeling and Not Let It Ruin Our Day? It was early morning, the night after the fight, and still a restlessness was there.  It was hard to imagine all the details of the fight, how it started, who said what.  But, oh, that feeling was still there.  Fresh. Raw. Tugging at the bedsheets to start afresh and dive back into the conflict.  Anger. Hurt. Resentment. Do you know that feeling?   It is a feeling that can make or break communication in a relationship.  Wake up fighting. Hold on and fume all morning. We can hold on to a feeling for a very long time.  The feminine brain is wired to have the memory storage capacity to do so...for days and for years. Holding on to a feeling, clasping it in righteous indignation, going over the argument in your mind about all the ways that you are justified to have this feeling. Whether it is anger, hurt, sadness, fear...these can all be permanent or temporary states of being. So what is hosting a feeling?

It’s All About the Moments

Could Instead of Should It’s 5 am.  I am sleeping all warm and snug in my bed when I feel a touch on my arm and my sweetheart says, “Baby you gotta come see the sunrise over the lake.”   I have that moment of hazy hesitation having just been in a deep sleep, but my heart opens, I feel myself smile and I take the moment.  We walk silently together to our front deck and I suck in that deep breathe of awe at the amazing beauty of Mother Nature…there is something about the sun rising and setting over water that is magical!  The sky is an impressionist painting of wild pink, purple, peach, yellow and orange stretched as far as we can see.  We stand still for just a few quiet moments holding hands and taking it all in. “It is so beautiful!” I say.  “It is, he says as he takes leave to begin his day.  I stand there just a few moments longer, alone and acknowledging this moment.  My thoughts go deep…      I go to the importance of being present and of honoring a positive impulse

What is a Woman on Fire? And Does Everyone in Your Life Need to Be "On Board"?

The Woman on Fire Tribe Experience When we started this wild ride called Hot Pink YOUniversity, I think our intentions were the following:  to travel with women, create a retreat atmosphere from their daily lives to reset, transform and self-care, to send the message to women in a movement that pleasure is mandatory in their lives. We knew as women that this movement was important.  Pleasure was important. What has evolved since that original concept is not nearly the same as the original vision...its better! That is a Woman on Fire , or WOF as we love to refer to her in our tribe.  A WOF has a vision for her life, bigger than the one she is living right now.  And, she may or may not have those she loves in her life on board with that vision.  Whether others are on board is not nearly as important as whether that woman is on board with her vision and the possibilities it holds.  Having your partner, kids, friends, colleagues on board makes the path easier...you have cheer

The Paralysis Analysis of FEAR

Fear....such a tiny word, 4 letters only, with profound implications.  In Scrabble, FEAR would only get you 6 points, not enough to win the game. But in life, we give FEAR so much more weight.  It drives our decisions, makes us lose what is ours to have, keeps us skimming the surface in relationships, experiences, choices. I was having lunch with a friend a few weeks ago and we were talking about forks in the road and how to decide on something.  I was facing a big decision in my life and it was making feel all kinds of things.  At the core, I was feeling decision paralysis ...you know, not deciding on anything.  When we are in that place, the outcome we desire looks impossible.  When we are at the fork in the road, we stand there for far too long, kicking pebbles around and weighing the pros and the cons of each and every possible nuance of the decision.  We camp out in exploration and visioning.  In a month, a year or years, we find ourselves still staring at the same fork in

Seeing Someone Through a New Lens

Seeing My Mother for the First Time Monday in Guatemala is for meeting the sponsored children and their families.  There is excitement and nervousness.  Less than 10 % of the Unbound sponsors actually make it to see their sponsored children or families.  This is my mother's third trip and our arms are loaded with gifts to meet 3 of the 4 children she and my step-father sponsor and their families. The gym is filled with tables on one end and Guatemalan families fill them, babies and grandparents, parents and siblings, all journeyed with their children who are sponsored to greet the people who send the money each month that allows for the family to meet basic needs, apply for assistance to get off dirt floors and into homes made of cement bricks, not tin. That awkward moment of first greetings The interpreters are there as I brush off my 7 years of high school and college Spanish.  My mother goes to each of the families with confidence and smiles as she hugs them and han